K9P

MCW: fat drunk and stupid: no way to go through life

2010-04-07T08:49:00.001-04:00

i love the smell of napalm in hollywood

2010-03-25T09:22:00.000-04:00

/bark bark bark

Dont'cha just love it when a bunch of pamp'ed stars
Start weeping on TV and playing guitars?
Wailing and caring, oh caring so deep
Monitoring phone lines they getting off cheap

"Bush broke the levee and brought the tsunami!"
Selling the lie life's a tit from yo' mommy
To show pretty faces they'll ask for your dollars
Though millions they've got they'd rather give hollers!

Compassion! compassion! say many of they
But when it comes to "material" these fuckers don't play

Not to say that they all be this way
Oprah and Bullock done give it away
But some could do much with a flick of some pens
Change a life by giving up just ONE of the benz,

Barbara S, you poser, are you kidding me?
You got the biggest head in history
Your cheapness and imperiousness are legend they say
Your day workers sued to get paid for the day

Sean Penn. Dear God, you the ugliest man that's ever been!
Showing for show in NOLA was truly a sin, but then again
it was funny to see you so impotent
and broke down in the rescue boat you rent.

Bra you aint the same thing as you play in the show
Hollywood's dying cause the people now know
What a bunch big talkers and wanna be loveds
Currying favor by trashin' the Govs.

You all against guns 'less they for your bodyguards?
Because behind big walls you safe in yo' yards
With pools full o' fools and trays lined with blow
Stop runnin' this game, you think we don't know?

Kanye is Christ? And Jessica Parker?
You think I'm a dog? That girl's a real barker!
Talking 'bout how her broke ass family
is caused by the American calamity?
Give up a Blanik or two you horse-faced punk!
That lie you been telling is a hunk of junk.
Take care of your own girl, and stop with the crying
Cause all of us watching see you is SO lyin'.

I got's to go now to make my livin'
Don't expect to me something be given
But there's one Hollywood thing I truly do love
"Celebrity Cellulite" on the Enquirer cov.

/howl

Fun with Protesters! #2

2010-03-24T11:33:00.000-04:00

Uh Oh. Here we go. Another look at protesters. Warning: content disgusting and obscene so be advised before you scroll down. You've been warned.

This is the Westboro Baptist Church. Their claim to fame is protesting at the funerals of dead soldiers and informing us that God hates fags. When some bikers decided to protest the WBC protesters they printed up this:

Irony alert: I wonder if these dolts recognize that their little pictogram cribs off Keith Haring; world famous art fag! ha ha!
inverted flag is a nice touch too. i didn't realize God had identified these punks as his spokesasses. I guess the pope will set them straight when they get to hell. Look at this one from Coretta Scott King's funeral:

We gotta get these punks together with:

Love the dykes from hell t-shirt. Maybe these seemingly disparate groups CAN find common ground. Kum-ba-ya!

Hey, I wonder if the Westboro Baptist Church members would be interested in purchasing this classy counter-culture shirt:

two squishy haters sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g..........eat your heart out match.com! can you pick a more perfect couple?
These chunky punks think, act and look alike.

Yawn. Ho hum. These fellas look like they're giving up valuable billing time in their careers to participate in this courageous act.

This group really inspires me. It inspires me to make a ton of money and move to a private island.

Nice gentle looking souls. Just curious, Ladies, about the "war is not the answer" thing. How about to end slavery? Dolts.

I can't succeed so therefore:

Protesters are sexy as all get out, aren't they? Nice $5 latte, Chump!

Oh No! Not you, Neo!!!????!! Somebody, please pull the plug in his neck!

Here's one from the recent protests in the "Atzlan Reconquista" movement. We took your land? I feel your pain. Now get your ass back to your country (that keeps their poor poor on purpose because they WANT a servant class) and build an army and come back and see me when you have more than magic markers, poster boards and bandanas. Punk!

Tolerance Alert!!! Confusing, though. They hate Bush and the Iraqis! My head is spinning!

Give 'em time, Honey:

and finally, a protester that brings it all together....the cliffs notes protest:

Have a nice day.

oaxaca

2010-02-22T09:39:00.001-05:00

feathers fell from queztacoatl
and formed into bleeding volcanoes
i scratched though the veil and sipped from the bottle
and i thought to myself si, bueno.

the spirit world squirmmed and came alive
like amoebas in the drink
sugar calaveras laughed in my face
it's closer than you think.

i climbed to the end of monte alban
the verde was far and wide
the pulque kicked in the journey was on
velasco was there by my side

resplendent and golden the sky
touched the earth and i lost my footing it seemed
i told the temporal world good-bye
the sun virgin burned and she beamed

"things are not as they appear
its enough that you are! just be.
you would be living except for your fear
the past is just psychic debris"

somewhere the sound of a horn exploded
and the bus it pulled away
el barracho was on sickly and loaded
but milagros were offered that day

still looking for a burning bush?
or a vapor behind the door?
i'll show you a miracle in my life
a hole in the rusted out floor

back came the pulque from inside to out
while riding with chickens and goats
bumping along on a dusty route
in a mexican town remote.

feed me frida

2010-02-22T09:27:00.002-05:00

frida catch me
it seems i've fallen
lay me beside your broken column
be my sister
be my guide
my patron saint when bones collide
send me a blackbird
she'll soothe my frown
and i shall stare the curious down

frida watch me
i'll weather this storm
surgeons and pins remaking my form
our sky's grown dark
the earth it's cracked
let beauty and grace keep us intact

frida see me
im the little deer
however severe
i'll be of good cheer
be my sister
be my guide

take me where fearless painters reside
lets soar above
that broken limb
and paint our way out of the trouble we're in

frida watch me
i'll heal in the forest
let there be fusion wherever its porous
the lighting cracked
the river it rages
let beauty and grace flow onto our pages

frida feed me
just like your nurse
the love embrace
of the universe
be my sister
be my guide
we'll trust that abundance will always provide

lets sip the nectar
from our creative protector
and we'll dismiss that sorrowful spectre

frida hold me
I'm sleepy now
that's all the writing these meds will allow
it's raining tonight
i hear it falling
let beauty and grace be our highest calling

ldy wordsmiths poem

2010-02-22T09:27:00.001-05:00

/bark bark bark

a poem for the Lady Wordsmith

there's a psychedelic vision
of an old crone divisioned
a muerta? not quite
a sunfish in flight
hooked and twisting and pulling in fight
not going gently into the night

#5 means i offer this photochoppy
a gift to da lady from the K9 rotty

the lady's listing of forty wishes
mostly i read that it's freedom she misses
marinated in thoughts of her corazon
i dogpaddled a sea of digital foam
and rode on the bubbles to her home
but when i arrived she were not alone

black and white flickering of film noir
darius and BoHemia at the bar
horsehead nebulas wearing belts of orion
somewhere behind me a bridge was sighing
for the lady say a crone is halfway to dying
well forget that grrrrl, sip up! we be flying

#16

hear that long and lonesome whistle?
let's us write the bums epistle!
go lady go lady go lady go
i wish ya happy birthday happy birthday dontcha know?

/(soft) grrrrr

maydens poem

2010-02-22T09:24:00.000-05:00

this is what we do to poets 'round here

why i make this post? let me be real clear:
i found myself a MAYDEN
and a nordic one at that
but i found her fire fadin'
so im preppin for combat

with a duo in a duel
yeah some men of poetry
so I'm throwin' down a jewel
of niner rappery

yeah im the dark horse in this race
and there aint no greater cause
to protect my mayden fair of face
from their literary paws

one man goes by COSMO his avatars a drink!
i wonder why he chose to be a girlie cocktail pink?
the other has a gun! yep, a true ROMANTIC DANDY
droppin down da poseys is his modus operandi

if ya'll be mackin' on my mayden
i'll be sneaking her away
like the bar-b-que you grilled
on independence day

cuz when i saw my mayden
i had a heart attack
she was dreaming of the poets
in a gown of sleek wildcat!

she gonna choose a suitor
on their words alone
so im singing out my rap
with a bark of baritone

i don't need no learning
or thesaurus thickened book
i'll sway her with my yearnin'
and my nanny-killin' look

i'm turning maydens head
with my juicy rap ebonics
so what if you well read?
you jus suckin' on ya phonics!

to the poets i say:

i ruled ya, i drooled ya, flipped ya over and i skooled ya
i left a steamin brown, flipped you back and put it down
i floated and i stinged, left you peak-ked in da ring
i was bad; i was pretty
ya'll left town
feeling shitty

cause the dog sneaked in
before this dress rehersal
now its too late for the wedding
'cause i "pinged her universal"

/howl

* CAPS BE LINKED
** 5:1 in the title refers to my odds set by XDELL

funeral

2010-02-22T09:23:00.000-05:00

/Grrrooowlf! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrru ru ru rufffffff! Howl! Stare!
/Low long deep grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The Lady lay in the place of pray
and the playas lined up to hear themselves say
this fine fine lady of a fine fine man
representin' a struggle throughout the land
Give yourself a hand
deadly Tedly
You milked it, bilked it
and it reminded me

of yo icon brothers, the dead kennedys

the original wire tap smarts
they did that deed to break her heart!

Yeah, show her man out with a tart
Try to distract
from the fact
he was smart!

(and a problem in the 60's for the demmi *freedom* lovers)
Now you wanna talk about "privacy" brothers?

(In Blogland pointing out hypocrisies is a
game like tic tac toe, no one wins dontcha know?
Faith in the parties is not for me
I prefer a Randian philosophy
the Will to prevail individually
I bet the good Dr. and Lady would agree
Look hard at his words, I bet you'll see!)

BTW:

You neva hear Jesus come outta their mouth
unless they swearing or
a dead nigga lay in the house

of God

And then bible thumping sho' ain't funny
now with Christians they acting all chummy
Hallelujah! Amen! Abel and Cain!
Can we drum up some funds for our campaign?
With righteous talk about the poverty shame?

(and they gonna fix it! just like they always have)

Never mind about the king family pain
Today is the day to loudly proclaim
That you give praise and glory to His Holy name!
Tell it to the TV
That's all its meant to be.

Most days on freaks of Jesus it's open season
Ha Ha: "the sheep-people votin' without reason"
The ones reading bibles and firing off guns
We gotta stop those thumpers somehow sons!

But its okay when you play the demmi way
your face in this place,
All show. You blow!
Acting sincere and compassionate tho'.
At this you excel and the skill still grow!

Sharpton STFU you pomaded pouff of pomposity
You made a career out of vanity
Using her last rights to sing about black woes
Bra! what about lyrics "bitches and ho's?
But then you couldnt hang with Luda and Fifty, could ya
you'd trade a being preacher for a G. rapper wouldnt ya?

Wait! Look!

Here comes Clinton the first black president!
Who spent
No cent or
effort to prevent

G E N O C I D E
in Rwanda

instead just *acting* all fonda

B L A C K

But in fact, he was slack.
Talking a good game, its so lame
(But he still feel your pain!)

All talk and no do
that is your party's eternal coup!
Demoncratic "Leadership"
Id love to stick a stake in the heart of you!

(Now accuse me of hate thought and have
John Edwards sue.)

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

fur blown and thrashed out

2010-02-22T09:21:00.000-05:00

/bark bark bark

I've been
roamin' on a road trip
what's the dog to do?
gone to see some family and trying to be true
but you know i was hidin' behind those mirrors, Q.

just like that overstuffed control freak of pink
bike week i think
i was blowing past tons of ink
calling attention to the dark in a blink
glance into the rearview he's
unsnapping his holster
brother does your cojones that bolster?
and now the familiar heart sink
yeah....
I'm minding my manners for the FHP too
a little bit of rebel with a lot more of a clue.

through the county that holds
the place of
my birth
rolling hills; the good earth
landscaped with coolant-hued sink holes
and the horse of famous video roles
the first days back
had an attack!
my wild home was now whack
*check yourself dog*
the now is all there ever is
these new people coming in?
they don't know what it's been, to them
its a biz.

but i remember the bayhill fog
rising off marsh and swamp
now its a country club
dangerous ground
to romp
no criticism
just witticism
on manicured greens and society scenes
the marketed promise of the joy it brings
but no people bypasses life's sorrowful things.
listen,
just focus on the fragrance of orange
blossoms at night
the osceola turkey. the osprey flight.

the red-tailed spread that rust to shield me

from the sun
i looked for the natives
but there were hardly none
earth-moving yellows with jaws like a shark
building new places
named for the things
they took apart

dear WALT!
it ain't your fault
your happy creation was
a mouse
that became a rat
and a concrete paradise at that
they bought it all
to present a fake florida to ya'll.

i'd rather look at
mullets, camaros, skynard clones and chrome
much more than this
kitsch reinvention of my home

*just saying*

"silk" is an escape pod
for all occasions
flee away dog from the sun-people raisins
to the interior of oak hammock and moss
i expected the change
but not the loss
new rules for the neighborhood
and the end of the ranches
asphalt and walls and
hurricane branches
the concrete tee-pees and dixie fried chicken
are MIA or taking a lickin'
to gentrification and attrition
its my highest mission
to enjoy what still is
and not what's missin'
and besides
my mama lives there
is there any better reason
this season to bear?

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

r u for 86

2010-02-22T09:19:00.000-05:00

/bark bark bark

straighten up chile who's in da house?
the lefty rev with da clever mouth
yea you is right
repro's not my bag
my big concern is girlies on the rag
wait! don't hate or prosthelytize. get wise. try this truth on for size
the 'tution dont promise no little pill
no backspace clean up for your funky thrill
its natures call. thats all.
we got bigger fish to fry ya'll

a guarantee of liberty
does not include insanity
you aint seen pain til you know in your head
you made it be so that your babies is dead
use your head get out the bed and shed
the chains of "we so bad"
we's the children
God
did want to have
dont take it out on the One most high
its the brothers on earth that be spreadin' the lie

the ones most likely to agree with you
get sucked up in tubes or flushed down the loo
you make me stronger cause theres less of you
heck!
its the roe effect
that keeps you lefties in check

trust me brother it is the greater good
more respectful of ladies in the hood
natures order made us men
the nanny state got us sucking thumbs again

when sin is a virtue and virtue a joke
the whole damn ball go up in smoke

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

winning poem

2010-02-22T09:17:00.000-05:00

was it
nutmeg psychosis
or
morse code neurosis:

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

hallucination
or
sweet equation

1,6-dichloro-1,6-dideoxy-
β-D-fructo-furanosyl 4-chloro-4-deoxy-
α-D-galactopyranoside

(almost)

the aussie man lee
and fidelity
the detective and the post

the niner of K
the den of may
the voyage and a boast

gloves thrown down
photos and browns
a discussion of what is true.

silly bros
erudite foes
its what dogs were built to do

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

/grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

well i was called fidelis from my very first day
i dogpaddled here to bark it out and have my say
id never let a digger do a dig on my lady
wouldnt let 'em dis her or imply that she were shady
id protect her virtue with my K9 high karate
and channel-surf her chakras like a bodisatva rottie

a spectral force unseen just in case shes ever scared
a poem for her pleasure with my inner dog laid bared
but when she falls alseep tonight the canine ranges on
to form a fragrant steamer for another blogger's lawn.
though i can't stay a month in her digital abode
anytime she needs me she can telegraph my code

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

-.- .---- -.- .---- -.- .----

(dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.
dash dot dash, dot dash dash dash.)

mayden
i'm fadin'
but true to you i'll be

m' lady's voice
the niner's choice
of sound fidelity

sound fidelity....
sound fidelity...
sound fidelity................

/zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-09-27T19:31:00.000-04:00

Mute Monday: weird but good easter bunny edition

2008-02-24T17:09:00.008-05:00

for the bird

2007-01-23T14:24:00.000-05:00

2007-01-16T18:18:00.000-05:00

2007-01-09T20:33:00.000-05:00

saturday farmer's market

2006-09-24T12:50:00.000-04:00

/bark bark bark

aunty belle took me to one of her favorite saturday stops: the winter park farmers market. the puppy above exhibits the same enthusiasm i had with the sites and smells.......

(soft) grrrrrr....awwww isnt your *tiny yappy hairy useless* doggie cute..can i pet you, er, i mean him? howl!

down from jawja! the ultimate ambassadors. peaches, peaches, love dem georgia peaches! "cuz, florda ernges and jawja peaches when they nice and ripe they the best fer eatin"

"finally! the barbeque trailer just pulled up! Mom, you've got cash, right?"

jars of zinnias. seriously homey comfort imagery.

dear God i am hairy. and hot. get me back to my air conditioned condo you dolt. and ditch the pink leash. and get my perrier. NOW! now, i say!

slimy good fun for everyone. it's okra! i feel gumbo and football weather comin....

the jaunty bachelor scams on all the ladies around him. "nice legs ya got there, lady. are those your real breasts? wait! where ya goin?"

"you want change for a thousand dollar bill? hey, wait a minute....."

love is a many splendored thing, cold nose to the butt not withstanding.

"i am so darn cute that i make my person look better! the green sandals and red toenails? there's a limit to my charm, mate!"

enjoying a "drink" ....aunty belle style.

"rescue me! i want to run with the big dogs, and escape my life of leopard skin pouffy beds and diamond collars. help me! seriously, man. don't leave me!"

peruilewaite? is that you? seems like you'd be happier!

fresher than the jaunty bachelor beagle!

the man who fled france because of the taxation! welcome aboard, frenchie.

"they say all women love chocolate....now, which end to mount."

the look back, through exotic orchids. thanks aunty belle!

/grrrrrrrrrrr

mayden. man ray

2006-08-25T21:06:00.000-04:00

/bark bark bark

for the final tribute to my mayden, on our last day of the 30 won in a poetry duel, i offer a crib on possibly one of the most recognizable photographs of a favorite muse of all time:

...."To the normal photographic print Ray has added two violin 'f' holes, pointing out the resemblance between the shape of her back and the body of a violin. The dress and pose for this picture are clearly modelled on those of the main figure in the well-known painting by Ingres, his Turkish Bath...."

/grrrrrrrrrr

10 Comments:

Percival said...
Cool. I've run into a blog that uses that same image for her icon, I hadn't known what it was...

10:22 AM
Mayden's Voyage said...
This is beautiful! Thank you :)

You have made this one of the most lovely experiences I've ever had...and I think I need to thank Percy for starting it all!

*Thank you Percy! And Cosmo too*

K9- you really are special.
All I ever hoped for was a drawing like the one you did for Lux! :)
You know- a girl, on a boat, with a dog :)
Heavens- you have wayyy out done yourself. Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

one more time
***SMOOCH***
:)

10:31 AM
Aunty Belle said...
DAwg , you and photshop is one cool duo!!

12:34 PM
X. Dell said...
Solarized Mayden. Cool. Classic. Almost as good as the real thing (i.e. a Cora with f-holes).

6:42 PM
Bird said...
this one's pretty good - but really, it's hard to decide which is the "best" or rather - which is my favorite.

good news at my roost - come on by - words and PHOTOS are up- first full installment anyways.

6:56 PM
ThursdayNext said...
A Lovely Way to End, Dear Rottiepup!

7:07 PM
schaumi said...
once again, wow!

Cora's head looks quite at home on that body. You have mad photoshop skills..

7:17 PM
firebird said...
They're all fabulous! And this one is truly classy. Looks like Mayden is all you could ever ask for in a muse!

8:03 PM
Mr Q said...
K9, executive producer of LGW II.
Coming soon to DVD. Jeez dawg, you put all the rest of us guys to shame with your attention to detail and selflessness. I am on my way to Home Depot to get you the biggest IAMS bag I can fit on the trunk of the A3.

7:06 AM
Enemy of the Republic said...
Let's put it in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. After all, it belongs there.

Thursday Night Studio

2006-04-05T11:32:00.000-04:00

Cheney's Sock Puppet #2

2006-04-05T11:28:00.000-04:00

will be your weekend anchor. K9 is out on patrol. Todays photo essay is dedicated to Aisha, Mohammad's 9 year old wife, Salman Rushdie, Theo van Gogh, Danish cartoonists, American and Iraqi soldiers, and a couple of zillion other infidels.

"But sock puppet! You and your homies created these monsters with your money and support years ago! You educated UBL for God's sake!"

No, dear readers, we didn't have sock puppets like myself for the last 1400 years. But at one point, we did have to choose between two monsters, and then the whole thing went topsy turvy. What remained constant was the driving force behind the monsters. And as far as educating UBL, I agree, let's don't keep making that mistake! If the puppet were in charge, these kind of guys would be out of our universities so fast ivory towers would crumble from the force of wind spinning off their speedy removal.

"What about the Christian fanatics, puppet?" Well, from what I can tell, you have a better chance of keeping your head attached to your neck in a country based on Judeo-Christian ideals if you, say, commit adultery, be gay, or write, draw or sing outrageously offensive things against the Christian faith or America. Enough! The puppet will deal with the arguments as they come.

Even if we could instantly correct our flaws as a nation, no matter who is in charge, no matter how tolerant we become, this is not going away:

That concludes todays program. Enjoy your weekend.
Photos courtesy of LGF, Michelle Malkin, and Michael Yon

Cheney's Sock Puppet #1

2006-04-05T11:26:00.000-04:00

will be your guest host tonight. For your consideration, a photo essay on how hearts and minds are not won. Many people, including those who would agree with the anti bush crowd in principle, cannot identify with the kind of statements that are about to follow. So when the Rev starts talkin' Hitler, K9 and others like him are lost to his voice. For they are impeached as well for their association.

The great protestors were classy. Contained. Clear. Think of Malcolm in his suit, looking good and speaking like a king.
No excuses and better than they had to be. Not just criticism all the time but offering a vision that spoke to the human spirit. And when history reels run back Martin and Gandhi or Mother Theresa they look solid, secure and patient. Going on about the business of whatever they think is right in spite of the state.

Thinking about hearts and minds in this way got K9 to thinking. And was he was disappointed with his debut in blogland, "guns blazing" as Ben said. And knowing fully now that the history reel of K9 is going to play on forever in the ether.

The essay continues:

I'm confused do they want peace or Benzes?

the toilet in the background is a sweet gift of irony, isn't it?

And the most egregious of all. This damn dog cant spell.

Please direct all inquires to Cheney's sock puppet. K9 is on patrol tonight.
Photos courtesy of Zombietime.